You’ve probably asked yourself, “Will I ever get over my divorce?”
Divorce often may feel like an end to a relationship and the end of a lifestyle. The loss of your home, the loss of time with the children, the loss of family and friends, and the loss of financial security may also come with a divorce. Ultimately, it may also include the loss of identity for one or both spouses.
Divorce can shatter a person’s self-esteem and leave them feeling empty and lost. However, the end to one lifestyle could be looked upon as a new and fresh beginning. There are many things to consider when making a fresh start!
How to Get Over a Divorce
Accept the shock and loss, the trauma that has been part of the relationship and allow time for grief. How long it takes to get over a divorce depends on you. Allow yourself time to go through the stages of grief:
- Denial and Isolation – During or after a divorce, it may be easier to just deny anything is even happening or to isolate yourself from the world. While these may help momentarily, they won’t move you in the right direction of getting over your divorce.
- Anger- This might be the first emotion you feel during or after a divorce and it may be difficult to control. It’s important to stay calm and manage your emotions.
- Bargaining- You may feel the need to try and get your husband or wife back at this stage. Don’t worry. Your husband or wife will be thinking the same thing. It’s important to keep things in perspective at this stage.
- Depression- This is a natural stage during the divorce process. Depression can also come with any stage of grief. Talk with someone you know who can help you.
- Acceptance- This is the best stage. You are no longer stuck in the deepest depth of the grief stage. You can move on with you life.
The stages of grief may not occur in any specific order or at the same levels of intensity. They may also vary in the amount of time for each stage. These sequence of events are a guide for the grieving process and a guide towards healing.
- Own your part of the failed relationship and take responsibility for your actions.
- Talk to someone to help you through this tough time.
Owning up to your role in the downfall of the relationship may keep you from feeling the trauma of the divorce. By getting rid of baggage, it can help to put you on the road to a whole new life.
How to Start Over
Get to know yourself again; learn what foods you like, what type of entertainment you enjoy, what kinds of movies you favor, what hobbies you miss. This can be a great time for rediscovery and experimentation to find what things make you happy. Have fun, enjoy yourself and laugh often.
- Deal with your feelings. Emotions are not good or bad, they just are and it is okay to feel them.
- Find a way to accept change and trust you have made the right decision.
- Be honest with yourself. Try journaling or other outlets for your feelings where you can express your innermost thoughts.
How to Get Over Divorce Anger
Avoid making any major life decisions. During this time of transition, it is appealing to make emotional decisions as a way to “show” that you are moving on and living. However, due to the emotional turmoil from a divorce, it is best to wait until the excitability of the situation dissipates and decisions can be made with a more level head.
Find your Support System
Realize the people in your life who are your base..your foundation, this could be family and past friends or seeking out people with common interests. Explore the support systems available; explore what support groups the hospitals in the area offer, what support groups religious organizations may offer, what online resources may be available, etc. Our firm has made hundreds of connections with area professionals and we welcome our clients to utilize the information available in the Resource Center in our office.
Schedule your free, no obligation consultation to see how our legal team and experienced family law attorneys can assist you with your family law needs. Call us at 815-600-8950 or contact us online today.