Recovery from divorce requires, among other things, the act of purging. Redirecting your energies into tasks that will help you move forward is key.
Divorce is a process and no matter what the circumstances, it is never easy. Our Family Law Group recognizes that our job involves protecting you, your children, your assets and your income. Our Team is also committed to guiding you to new ways to move on with your life.
Our years of experience dictate that one way to move on is to simplify your life through the act of purging. This helps you focus on the tasks at hand and requires affirmative steps by which you can start to turn the predicament you’re in into a life changing experience.
When we think of a fresh start, we think of something new. Consider the following suggestions and start moving forward today.
1) Purge Your Mind And Emotions.
Anger, worry, doubt and frustration are all emotions you will experience in a divorce. You can elect to allow these emotions to control your existence or you can implement ways to redirect those feelings and deal with the matters at hand. There is no question that your emotions will be like a roller coaster up and down. We suggest you work with a counselor, life coach, pastor, priest, rabbi or other spiritual advisor to help you deal with these emotions to react in a manner that will be respectful to your family.
2) Purge Your Words.
Comments, criticism, foul language, and attitude get you into trouble. Zip it up. No matter how angry or frustrated you are, your mouth can be a deadly weapon that will only harm you in the end. Your children don’t need to hear or experience it. You don’t need to get in the last word. You don’t need to respond to set the record straight. The reality is you are getting a divorce. Be the better person, turn around and walk away. If conversations are getting out of hand, stop communicating. Suggest that your spouse have his or her lawyer call yours. You may be surprised how attitudes can change when you simply don’t respond and take the high road.
3) Purge Negativity.
The one lesson learned by every divorce litigant is the loss of control. Suddenly your life is in the hands of a person you don’t know; a person who is wearing a black robe who has the power to make decisions with which you may not be in agreement. The person you thought you would spend the rest of your life with is suddenly your antagonist and opposing party. Anger and negativity is a natural reaction. These feelings worsen as time goes by and if your family and friends stir up the emotions with well intentioned comments this will only leave you feeling drained. Take charge and resist the inclination to fall victim to these negative thoughts. Get help to redirect this negativity into something positive.
4) Purge Your Schedule.
One of the first things you will learn in the divorce process is that it will take time. You will need to be available for court dates, appointments, and other tasks necessary to move your case forward. We urge you to read the section under Words Of Wisdom labeled “Time Time” to understand the impact of the divorce as it relates to your time.
Keeping a schedule is very important. This includes maintaining records of parenting time with your children. A central source for this data is always a good idea. Start anew. Get a new calendar and keep track on a daily basis.
5) Purge Your Finances.
Divorce inevitably has a financial impact on the entire family. Moving from one household to two obviously costs more money. At the same time, there are areas where you can direct your attention to get your budget under control. Eliminate unnecessary expenses and old spending habits. It is true that lifestyle is a factor in the court’s determination of support. At the same time, preserving what is left in the marital estate should be a priority.
You cannot purge by throwing away financial data. The discovery process during a divorce requires that you produce your financial documents. At the same time, the best way to get a handle on your finances is to get organized.
The above suggestions are only a starting point for you to simplify and purge areas in your life to get a fresh start. We urge you to set an agenda and plan for your new life. Gwendolyn J. Sterk and the Family Law Group is here to help you. We want to make this passage thru a difficult time less painful. To accomplish this, you have to be an active participant in the process. Set a new goal to simplify today.
“Purge the old leaven that you may be fresh dough…” I Corinthians 5:7