No one really wants to get divorced. Everyone who gets wed and ties their life to another hopes the union has what it takes to last. Breakups are painful, messy, and can even get mean.
Divorce elevates the situation even further, with legal and financial implications people would rather avoid.
However, sometimes the need for divorce cannot be denied. Spouses decide to endure the disappointment and drudgery of divorce so that they can start life anew. And while it’s no picnic, many people find divorce isn’t as difficult as they expected.
Check out these three myths about divorce, and the realities that most divorcing couples find.
Myth: Divorce is always a horrible experience.
Reality: Divorce may be the thing that brings you peace.
It’s emotionally wrenching to end any long-term relationship, especially one solidified by the bond of marriage. Separating from a spouse means dealing with feelings of sadness, loneliness, regret, guilt, anger, and even betrayal.
However, by the time some couples reach the ultimate decision to get divorced, they have already experienced the more mentally painful aspects of separating from one another. They may be living apart from one another, either in separate homes or in different parts of the same residence. Maybe they have already moved on to find new special people in their lives.
The legal dissolution of marriage officially severs the union of two people, finally providing them a true opportunity to move on. While the divorce process invariably evokes strong emotions, it can also bring about a sense of freedom and new beginnings.
Separation of spouses happens over the course of months and even years; divorce puts to rest this period of discord and suffering.
Myth: Divorce means spending hours in a courtroom.
Reality: Divorce court time can be minimized.
Highly contentious divorces may require numerous court appearances and even testimony regarding the case. In most situations, however, divorces can be handled without the spouses needing to appear in court until the final action.
In a collaborative or non-contested divorce, the spouses can work with and through their lawyers to file all necessary paperwork with the court. Additionally, the lawyers will appear in court on behalf of their clients for most of the court dates.
For a divorce to be finalized, a judge must legally validate the settlement agreement. The petitioner of the divorce, the person who filed the case, is often required to appear at that final hearing. In some cases, the respondent is also ordered to appear.
To avoid time spent in front of a judge in a courtroom, spouses getting divorced can work outside of court to agree on issues to be settled. Hiring a family law attorney to represent you is another way to avoid the need to attend court appearances.
Myth: Divorce attorneys should be ruthless.
Reality: Divorce attorneys should advocate for you and help you move forward.
In most cases, spouses getting divorced don’t want to hurt one another. As brokenhearted as they may be, people usually want to find an equitable way to end the relationship and move forward. That’s what your divorce attorney should want, too.
While it’s their job to protect and defend your interests throughout legal proceedings, divorce attorneys need not be devious or “out for blood.” Outstanding divorce attorneys are both highly competent while caring for their clients’ best interests. Remember you cannot control the actions of the other party. Know what you want, what you need to do and be reasonable to get this matter resolved.
We’re Here to Help
At Sterk Family Law Group, we’re committed to helping you find solutions to all the issues that crop up during the divorce process. We care about our clients as much as their cases. As we work to ensure your case is handled fairly, we also want to help you find the quickest path to a more peaceful and happier life.
For help with your divorce case, call us at (815) 600-8950 or utilize the form below to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation.