As the holidays arrive, so does the familiarity of the season’s routine. The decorating, shopping and cooking are, once again, added to the festive to-do list. We welcome the traditional feeling of the holidays, but what if things are different? How does a major life change like divorce impact one’s overall affection toward the holidays? You might feel anxious or fear the feeling of change that will, no doubt, exist. With some consideration, it is possible to cross the threshold of change and enjoy the blessings of the holiday season.
Here are some simple tips to follow in order to make the most of the season:
First, establish boundaries for yourself.
Reflect for a moment on how you may respond to inquiries about your Divorce. As family and friends come together, they might ask how you’re doing or want to understand the status of your current situation. We love our family and friends. They certainly mean well, but it’s ok to leave these conversations for another time. Prepare a brief response, and stick to it.
Respect your current or future ex-spouse.
Is this easier said than done? In certain situations-yes, it’s very important nonetheless. You can always control your own words and actions. Do your part to keep the peace of the season. Help facilitate all holiday celebrations for your children. Make the necessary accommodations for your kids to spend holiday time with both parents. You will never regret keeping your children’s best interests at heart. Include your kids in the holiday shopping, and let them pick out a special gift for their Mom or Dad. In any season, respect is always the answer. It promotes peace and positivity within your new family dynamic.
Look at the holidays as a season, not just a day.
You have a family. Your ex-spouse has a family. Everybody wants to be with family, so it’s understandable that all parties want time with the children. Sometimes this is logistically difficult, but take a look at the silver lining…your children are surrounded by love and a wish to share the genuine celebration. Plan your holiday celebrations accordingly, and share the joy of the season.
Control holiday stress.
What other time of year do we actually hustle and bustle? Go ahead and participate in the holiday bustle, but stay within your comfort zone. Determine a reasonable budget, and honor it. Keep your spending simple, plan in advance, and give yourself the opportunity to revel in the magic of the season.
Embrace new traditions.
In life, all things eventually change. Even if Divorce is not an altering event, children grow up, parents or grandparents’ age and traditions shift. Let new traditions settle in. The goodwill of the holiday, the love of family and friends, and the reason for the celebration remain the same. Enjoy it.
Remember, you hold the key to a Happy Holiday. Keep a positive holiday spirit and you’ll find that it promotes the same. Best wishes for the happiest of holiday seasons.
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